Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
