She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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