Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
