I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
