Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
