"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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