Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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