I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
