His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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