Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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