White coat. Heels.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
