I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
