he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
