i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The uberlube is also flammable
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
