Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We need a shit load of segways right now
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
