I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
