Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
my phone needs a breathalizer
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
