Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
