mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just had sex on a roof
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
