Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
