I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
