He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
