I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
