I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
