When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
