wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
