Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
