Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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