when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
