my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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