Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
