but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
