How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
