please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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