What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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