so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
