She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
