sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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