ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
