Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize