none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Floor bacon is actually really good
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
