words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
