tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
