so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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