I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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