Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
