This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
