I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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