Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
