a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
