we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
