I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Dignity is for republicans.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Randomize
