White coat. Heels.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
