I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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