It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
