they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I will pee on everything he values.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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