found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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